Effortmark Case Study: The Open University : Introductory Letter

Comment 1
Most students read the course description line and skipped the rest of the letter.

Comment 2
What is a 'res expiry date'?

Comment 3
Payment is compulsory but sounds optional.

Comment 4
Warning about importance of expiry date is not clear.

Comment 5
Blocks of text are difficult to read.

Comment 6
Paragraph mixes offers of help with warning messages.

Comment 7
Nothing at the end to tell the student to carry on reading, many missed the contents list on the back of the page.

Consultancy and Training	Case Study	About	Resources
	Problem Method Example 1 Example 2 Example 3 Results

Example 1 : Introductory Letter

Before	After	Side by Side
Image Text

Mrs C Jarrett
16 Heath Road
Leighton Buzzard
Beds
LU7 8AB

Registration and Fees Centre
The Open University
PO BOX 197
Walton Hall
Milton Keynes
MK7 6BJ
Tel. 01908 653454/653411

Your Personal Identifier M5207172

Letter Ref. RES2A Date 12/06/97
Region 02
Reservation No SO321702

Dear Mrs Jarrett I am pleased to invite you to register for the course(s) you have chosen:
Course	Awards	Title
B886 98	F02	The Business Research Project

Res. expiry date
23/07/97

Please read through your registration pack carefully, and complete the Registration Agreement with the help of the How to Register booklet. Completed forms (plus any accompanying payment) should be returned to us in the envelope provided before the reservation expiry date.

If your course has a separate residential school fee (see your brochure/course notes) you will be invoiced for this at a later date. For 1998 the cost will be in the range Ł230 - Ł252 for a full week (Ł115 - Ł126 for a half week). Please note that the University is in the process of reviewing the principles for setting the residential school fee, which could have a bearing on the actual fee set for 1998.

You may need further advice before deciding whether to proceed to registration. If you have any queries about the contents of this pack, or wish to change your course reservation, please contact our staff in the Course Reservations and Sales Centre (tel 01908 858392; Fax 01908 655072) who will be pleased to help you. I am sure you will appreciate that if we do not hear from you by the reservation expiry date shown above, we shall assume that you are unable/do not wish to study with us on this occasion, and will cancel your reservation.

I hope that you will decide to register for the course(s) you have chosen and that you will enjoy your studies with the Open University.

Yours Sincerely

Anne Phillips
Assistant Registrar

M5207172

12/06/97 07:34

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Further Information

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