Effortmark Case Study: The Open University : Introductory Letter

Amendment 1
Clear headings and bulleted lists make the letter easier to read and to understand.

Amendment 2
Abbreviation 'res' removed.

Amendment 3
List of contents is on the front page so student can find out easily if something is missing.

Amendment 4
Messages about expiry date are in one place clearer and more helpful.

Amendment 5
No ambiguity about need for payment.

Amendment 6
Instructions are clear, in order, and in one place.

Amendment 7
Student is warned if there is something on the next page.

Consultancy and Training	Case Study	About	Resources
	Problem Method Example 1 Example 2 Example 3 Results

Example 1 : Introductory Letter

Before	After	Side by Side
	Image Text

Mrs AF Day
RES2A Test 8
Region 08
4 Courses
Conditional
MK7 6AA

Registration and Fees Center
The Open University
PO BOX 197
Walton Hall
Milton Keynes
MK7 6BJ

60311

Telephone (01908) 653454
Fax (01908) 654914
E-mail reg-fees@open.ac.uk

Your personal id RES2A008

Region 08

Reservation No S1234567

Document reference RES2A

16 February 1998

Dear Mrs Day I am pleased to invite you to register for the course(s) you have chosen:
Course	Awards	Title
Course 98B	D16 C01	Course Title 1

Offer open until
28 Feb 98

We will hold this place open for you until the date shown above. If we do not hear from you by then we will assume that you are unable/do not wish to study with us and we will cancel your reservation. If you need more time to get your registration agreement with payment to us, then let us know adn we may be able to extend your reservation.

What this registration pack contains:

Registration agreement
Completing your registration agreement 1998/99
Personal Computing for Open University Study 1998/99
Application form for a financial award and guidance notes on completing the form
Sponsorship form
Address return envelope

If any of these items are missing please contact the Course Reservations Center on (01908) 653231

How to register
When you have made your mind up please complete your regsitration agreement. You may find the booklet How to complete your registration agreement helful in explaining unfamiliar terms. If you have any queries about fee payment please contact us at the above address.

To register you need to:

Complete the enclosed registration agreement
Sign and date the agreement
Enclose your payment or authorization of payment
Complete the Financial Award application form and return it with the necessary evidence if you have been conditionally offered a Financial Award

PLEASE TURN OVER
RES2A008	1of 1	03030216

Further Information

Effortmark Limited is a usability consultancy based in the United Kingdom. Contact us.
caroline dot jarrett at effortmark dot co dot uk